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Self-pleasure is a game we all know well - your trusty vibrator has gotten you through more than one steamy night alone if you’re being honest. But, what about when it comes to wanting to use toys in other ways? How do you broach the subject of bringing them into your relationship? It can be a nerve wracking experience, but it’s one of the best things you can do to spice up your sex and turn the bedroom into a fun and flirty space again.
Keep in mind to choose the right time - and be prepared for a little awkwardness
You could be the world’s most secure couple and still feel a little awkies talking about bringing toys into bed together. It’s normal, super normal! In fact, it can bring out a little fear in some people too - they might feel like they’re not performing well enough for you or have an insecurity about you getting your pleasure someplace else. Again, totally normal and something that needs to be discussed before making any serious moves.
Best tip - focus on the ways the toys will elevate your relationship and sex life on both ends, don’t make it about you only and don’t forget to mention that it’s the cherry on-top, not the whole dessert.
Make it an us thing, not a you thing
Take your partner with you when you go shopping! This one might seem like a no-brainer but it’s super important in order to make them feel secure and confident in making the next move. Nobody wants their partner to whip out a sack of sex toys they’ve used with past partners or that they’ve simply collected alone. This should feel like a new, kinky chapter in your relationship, not like you’re rehashing an old one.
Be prepared to ease in
Sometimes, people just aren’t that keen on the idea. It doesn’t mean they never will be but it does meant they might need a little more encouragement, a slower pace and lots of validation. Try introducing the idea slowly by starting off with massage oils, fun outfits or just trying some new moves in the bedroom. It’s all about getting their rocks off to adventuring a little outside of their comfort zone!
When you start, remember to explore together
You’ve nailed the conversation, got a great haul and eased your partner in - now it’s time to explore! Pleasure both yourself and your partner, keep the affirmations flowing and make it the best sex of your life (but don’t forget to give them credit where credit is due!)
Sex toys are a great way to spice up your sex life and they have huge potential for not only giving you pleasure, but your partner too. As long as you follow the above steps, you’ll be in La La Land in no time with your partner at your side!